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Momma Love

Losing a Parent & Losing a Baby

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Losing a Parent & Losing a Baby

My mom didn't come home from that stay.  Well not as herself anyways.  Just a shell of her came home with us.  It was strange, one day we were laying in her hospital bed together - watching the last Oprah show reminiscing on how much we would miss it.  Really, reminiscing about how much we would miss each other...  I got a call, it was Saturday morning and my stepdad had spent the night at the hospital.  He said, "Erin - your mom is not your mom anymore, you need to get here right away".  Once at the hospital, they told...

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Mother's Day

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Mother's Day

It was Mother's Day.  A few weeks earlier we learned that the chemo had stopped working, and that the cancer had spread.  We were supposed to go on a family vacation as we had never been on one before.  But my mom was too sick to board the cruise, it wouldn't be safe.  When my husband and I returned a week we learned that she didn't have long.  It was devastating.  So going into Mother's Day, we knew it would be our last.  That stung so bad. I woke up that morning and peed on a stick.  Sure enough, it...

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The Ugly Truth About Cancer

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The Ugly Truth About Cancer

My mom started chemo immediately.  We were figuring out to come to terms with the fact that she was only given 5 years.  I immediately thought, what if she doesn't get to become a grandma.  I was on a mission, I wanted her to experience that kind of joy.  I wanted to experience that kind of joy with her. I knew my mom would be the best grandma ever.  I had amazing grandmothers.  My mom's mom, my Grammy, used to do art and crafts with me.  We would color eggs, go sledding, go to the beach, the movies.  It was always exciting. ...

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My Momma

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My Momma

Let me back it up a bit here.  My mom was a single mom most of my life.  She was amazing.  She went to school and got her degree while working full time to support me.  She saved up enough money to buy us a house all by herself.  She literally did it all.  She was more than just a mom.  I didn't have any blood siblings so she was like a sister, my mom was my best friend.  She was always my biggest supporter. My mom was my biggest inspiration for life.  She was all about the ASK.BELIEVE.RECEIVE. positive...

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More Loss & Finding an Answer

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More Loss & Finding an Answer

It took me a long time to recover from that loss.  I couldn't speak to my friends for months.  I felt so incomplete.  Todd and I got engaged, and we found out we were expecting again soon after.  I lost that baby too.  My doctor's still weren't concerned, as the chance for miscarriage is 1/3 for all pregnancies.  They told me it was bad luck.  It was the worse pain I had ever felt.  For my whole life I wanted nothing more than to become a mom, and it wasn't happening.  People kept telling me, everything happens for a reason.  For...

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