Momma Love — miscarriage
The Mother's Day Struggle
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Ugh. It is that time of year again. Most families are planning a special day, preparing gifts - the commercials are all over tv. Articles about amazing moms are all over Facebook, and now everyone is changing their profile pictures using a breast cancer MOM banner. This holiday is in your face. Well, I guess most holidays are in your face - but this one stings, it really burns. First of all - being a mom is HARD. SO DAMN HARD. Why do we as a society need to help and honor moms once a year? The funny jokes about dads letting her...
The 5 Hardships of Infertility
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5 long years. That is how long it took us to become parents. Those five years felt like 50 years though. I'll never forget the pain I felt, and how empty I felt all those years. I wasn't technically infertile. I actually got pregnant quicker than quick most times. Fertile Myrtle they called me, and I would cringe every time I heard it. My problem was that I couldn't stay pregnant and in those 5 years I suffered 8 miscarriages. I remember going to the Infertility clinic and being frustrated to hear that the options that most infertile couples had -...
Losing a Parent & Losing a Baby
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My mom didn't come home from that stay. Well not as herself anyways. Just a shell of her came home with us. It was strange, one day we were laying in her hospital bed together - watching the last Oprah show reminiscing on how much we would miss it. Really, reminiscing about how much we would miss each other... I got a call, it was Saturday morning and my stepdad had spent the night at the hospital. He said, "Erin - your mom is not your mom anymore, you need to get here right away". Once at the hospital, they told...
More Loss & Finding an Answer
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It took me a long time to recover from that loss. I couldn't speak to my friends for months. I felt so incomplete. Todd and I got engaged, and we found out we were expecting again soon after. I lost that baby too. My doctor's still weren't concerned, as the chance for miscarriage is 1/3 for all pregnancies. They told me it was bad luck. It was the worse pain I had ever felt. For my whole life I wanted nothing more than to become a mom, and it wasn't happening. People kept telling me, everything happens for a reason. For...
The First Baby I Lost
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Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day and as 1 in 4 - I want to share my story to help break the stigma around pregnancy loss. This is Chapter 1 of an inspirational story of love, loss and motherhood that I will share over the next few weeks. It was the day after Thanksgiving, 8 years ago now. My husband and I were expecting our first baby. We were the couple that were MEANT to be parents. You know a couple like that I'm sure. The one who always offers to babysit their friends' kids, is called "Auntie" and "Uncle"...