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Momma Love — loss

The Mother's Day Struggle

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The Mother's Day Struggle

Ugh.  It is that time of year again.  Most families are planning a special day, preparing gifts - the commercials are all over tv.  Articles about amazing moms are all over Facebook, and now everyone is changing their profile pictures using a breast cancer MOM banner.  This holiday is in your face.  Well, I guess most holidays are in your face - but this one stings, it really burns. First of all - being a mom is HARD.  SO DAMN HARD.  Why do we as a society need to help and honor moms once a year?  The funny jokes about dads letting her...

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A Christmas Miracle

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When I first started writing the Momma Love Story, I was already on the other side.  If you read my last post - that was about as sad as it can get.  But the ending is really quite amazing and miraculous.  The thing is though, there really never is an ending.  Life comes and goes in waves.  Sometimes you are on top, and sometimes you are on the bottom.  Losing my mom was by far the hardest thing that ever happened to me, and if you follow me on social media - you don't need to finish the story to...

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Losing a Parent & Losing a Baby

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Losing a Parent & Losing a Baby

My mom didn't come home from that stay.  Well not as herself anyways.  Just a shell of her came home with us.  It was strange, one day we were laying in her hospital bed together - watching the last Oprah show reminiscing on how much we would miss it.  Really, reminiscing about how much we would miss each other...  I got a call, it was Saturday morning and my stepdad had spent the night at the hospital.  He said, "Erin - your mom is not your mom anymore, you need to get here right away".  Once at the hospital, they told...

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More Loss & Finding an Answer

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More Loss & Finding an Answer

It took me a long time to recover from that loss.  I couldn't speak to my friends for months.  I felt so incomplete.  Todd and I got engaged, and we found out we were expecting again soon after.  I lost that baby too.  My doctor's still weren't concerned, as the chance for miscarriage is 1/3 for all pregnancies.  They told me it was bad luck.  It was the worse pain I had ever felt.  For my whole life I wanted nothing more than to become a mom, and it wasn't happening.  People kept telling me, everything happens for a reason.  For...

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