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Three Months

B

Time has a way of slipping by ever so quickly.  Three months ago, I lost my dad to cancer.  He was 54, just shy of turning 55.  Even though I have been down this road before - it still just doesn't seem real.  Some days I can't believe my mom died and I have had 4 years to adjust to a new life without her.  My dad was larger than life.  This big happy guy was the one we called when Todd needed help lifting heavy furniture.  He owned his own painting and carpentry business and was built to carry heavy loads.  Cancer however is a load so heavy that even my big strong dad couldn't carry it.  He fought for control right until the end though.

My dad wasn't afraid to die.  He wasn't afraid because in his 54 years he lived life every day to the fullest.  When my mom got sick, cancer taught me to enjoy the little things.  To stop and notice that the miracle of life is present with every rain drop, with every chirp of a bird, every blade of grass on the ground.  Even when we stop and hear the wind rustle the trees.  My dad didn't need cancer to teach him any of that.  He lived his whole life in complete awe of nature and loving his life through experiencing as much as it had to offer. A hunter and a fisherman, his happiest places were often quiet and tranquil.  He once told me that he didn't even care when he went hunting and didn't catch anything.  He just enjoyed sitting and noticing this amazing life all around him. 

So while it is so hard to move on from a loss so big, I try to stop and just listen.  My life as a mom to two active boys, and an entrepreneur starting a business - sometimes I get so busy I forget how lucky I am for every single day that I get to enjoy this life.  So here I sit, looking out the window.  Watching a squirrel climb up the tree. Listening to the rain softly fall on the roof.  Because after all, it is all about the little things...   



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